štvrtok, marca 07, 2019 Košice, Slovensko

Put your hair in a bun and get the sh*t done || International Women's Day

For those who visit my blog for the first time, my name is Tori. I'm a blogger, founder of BloggerMeet and BabeSupport, psychology student, full-time girlfriend, animator in summer camps and "school in nature" trips. And I'm tired, even though I feel like a motherf**ing girlboss. I'm hella tired. But that's okay and let me tell you why.

Source : pinterest.com
When you look at my profiles and accounts, you may think that I'm just another regular blogger and a student. That I am able to handle anything that comes to me. But that's just not the exact truth when I compare my life right at the moment to the last two months. My head is going to explode, my tearducts are bursting even for the smallest things. I think I've already had enough for the last year or so.

But even though I'm falling apart, I'm still making new steps. I'm still holding on, waiting for better (and more sunny) days. The only thing, that I'm really comfortable with, is my timetable. The worst day is Thursday because I'm at school since 8 am to 5 pm with 20 min breaks for my lunch (to exhale. It is impossible to eat lunch in 20 minutes, or it's too likely that I throw up afterwards).

Other days I spend in school are Mondays and Tuesdays, but only for 3 hours approximately. And that's like enough for me. Weekends, Wednesdays and Fridays are just for me-myself-and I, my mental health and books (and studying, ofc).

But I don't want this post to look like my pessimistic curriculum vitae or timetable. I would like to talk about my routine, "burnout syndrome" and mental breakdowns that occured for the last few months.

It's okay not to be okay. It's totally fine to cry, to scream, to beat the pillow (not the wall, I really don't recommend that one. Especially with your fists.). To avoid violence, I'm using cold water or my balcony to reduce my negative feelings.

For those who think that crying is for the weak, I wish you a great breakdown. You'll understand and thank me afterwards. You are allowed to cry. As long as you want, as hard as you want. You can be wrapped in your blanket like a little sad taco, but let me remind you that you can't stay like that for a long time.

My whole life I've been told that I'm just a girl, like I meant nothing to anyone.

"You can't play football, you are a girl."
"You can't be a boy's friend, you are a girl." 
"Bikes are for boys."

But let me remind you, you can be anything you want. My dear, you can be a chemist, you can be a doctor or a pilot.

Girl, you are stronger than you think. And you surely are capable of amazing things. You need to raise (just like a phoenix in the Harry Potter franchise), put your hair in a bun and get the shit done. Even when you feel you're going to suck at it. As the motivational pics at Pinterest say, believe you can and you are halfway there. I am the proof.

To be honest, for the last month I was way too tempted to end it all. My blog, my social sites. But I gave myself an imaginary slap (or not that imaginary to tell the truth) and decided to step back. To inhale and exhale, to turn off my smartphone, my laptop and to hide in the darkness. To release all the demons screaming and shouting at me. And I'm back. But it was not that easy.

I ate too much or didn't eat at all. I cried hidden in my room or laughed out loud with my friends. I dressed up as a total trash to expose my feelings, or dressed up to kill (to understand, I dressed up glam af), to hide it all.

Source : tumblr.com/bonjourfrenchwords

How do I cope and deal with breakdowns and burnouts ?
  • Don't even try to solve problems through messages. Personally or by calling the exact person. Nothing else. We all hide our true selves in our messages. And it is 100% better to sit down and talk than to block someone online and end it all without communication.
  • Fresh air, gallons of tea or water. You need to find that inner "namasté bitch", hidden under your problems. She is there, she's just ashamed of your negativity. Go for a walk if you are sad (or run if you are angry) and don't forget to breath. 
  • Go towards your problem. Running away from them can make you skinnier, but it won't solve anything. You have to find the epicenter of your problems even though it may look like you are going straight into a tornado. 
  • Silence is sometimes golden. Don't argue but don't step back. Keep your head up, and just listen to a person you are arguing with. Stay calm and offer them help. Maybe the other side is just sad and needs to hear something nice. 
  • Don't you dare remove the memories. Don't do it. Keep the pictures in a folder, things in a box. Hide them for some time. And trust me, one day you'll look back and smile. 
  • Pamper yourself. Get yourself a bathbomb, lie down in a bathtub. Sheet masks are also great stress reliever. 
  • Prepare yourself a playlist. One sad, one overly energic and hyped and one alternative with everything you like. Then it's only up to you which one you decide to play.
  • Art is also a way of dealing with your demons. Create. Draw. Paint. And you'll see how quickly it'll get better.
You need to remain strong. And you have to remember what a beautiful, wonderful human being you are. You are loved, you are wanted, you are needed. You are allowed to treat yourself as a goddamn queen girl.

This post was written for every girl. Every single woman on this Earth. You should be reminded every day about how amazing you are, because it's true. You deserve to be happy and loved. We all do.

10 komentárov

  1. You are a hell of a girlboss! You go girl��
    I can't quite handle breakdowns as much so thanks for the tips. You are a wonderful person.
    Ps your english slays!

    1. ❤ Thank you a lot ! I am really happy, that I was able to help you somehow! :)

  2. Krásne napísané! Máš môj obdiv, že píšeš v angličtine, ja som to teraz prvý krát skúsila a rada by som v tom pokračovala :)

    1. Ďakujem ! ❤ Určite to len a len pomáha, s každým článkom, ktorý napíšeš, sa niečo nové naučíš

  3. Každá zlá chvíľa raz skončí. Ver mi. Ja som svoj burnout zažila v lete, keď som klesla dosť nízko a teraz spätne ma iba mrzí, že som celé dva mesiace tak premrhala, lebo som ich mohla stráviť inak, ale potrebovala som čas pre seba a na to, aby som sa dala dokopy. A dala som sa. Po nociach, kedy som ležala v posteli a plakala, a okolo mňa nebo nikto, kto by mi utrel slzy, lebo som bola sama, som vôbec nevidela, ako by sa celá situácia mohla otočiť v niečo lepšie. Ale stalo sa, a viac-menej samo. Ani neviem ako, ale zrazu bolo všetko v poriadku. A verím, že to isté sa stane aj v tvojom prípade – tak hlavu hore. You're a badass. Dostala si sa až sem. A k slnku ťa delí už len kúsok. ❤

    1. ❤ Bee, ďakujem ! Úplne súhlasím, tie stavy veľmi dôverne poznám. Viac krát som na tom bola rovnako. No som tu a to beriem každý deň ako to najväčšie víťazstvo

  4. Thats a really pretty motivational post. Finally not a simple congrats on the holiday, but something meaningful to take away with :-)

  5. Dala si do toho článku hodně emocí, hodně si se otevřela. Neboj se, všechno špatné jednou skončí a halvně ne nadarmo se říká, že všechno zlé je pro něco dobré. Jsi úžasná a máš můj obdiv za psaní v english :D :)


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